From Folk-Rock Diva to Music Consciousness Researcher

Glenn Gould, Wikipedia, musician that changed my life

First, I would like to say even though I had some success as a former folk-rock singer-songwriter, I was never famous. And I'm okay with that given my life journey thus far which immersed me in musical traditions from around the world and awakened my consciousness. How many musicians can say that?

And what I discovered was that every moment of my journey leaves me with no regrets. I followed my heart along the way--from shattered and disturbed to healthy, whole, and complete. In my teens, I fell under the trance of rock music as many teens tend to do. The lure of the rock gods drew me in and I used their songs as catharsis during that time in my life. Then in my 20s and 30s, I followed my own path to rock diva-hood, though I never quite manifested that given the amount of anger flowing through my body, mind, and spirit. But boy, could I belt out my anger when required.

But at some point, after a long-drawn out illness that left me apartment-bound for the most part, and then two forays attending the WOMAD Festival in Redmond, Washington, I finally got that music offered me a journey, not to riches and fame, but to awakening of consciousness. And while I would never call myself enlightened, I am mindful of how my words, actions, and thoughts shape the world and ripple out to others. This is why it disturbs me sometimes to see some of my songs from the past floating around on the internet. Who knew at the time that I wrote those obscure songs that we would someday encounter the worldwide web?

Beethoven, Wikipedia, cathartic music

Some musicians are still striving for fame and fortune, while others have left those ambitions in the dust after discovering sound healing, the work of Masaru Emoto, and others involved in the consciousness movement. But even if musicians had once belted out words of anger and pain on stage and on recordings, that's just where they were at that time. We travel along a spectrum and most of us were not raised in cloistered communities where we gained meditation skills and spiritual wisdom. No, that's something we acquired by first hitting bottom and then allowing the Divine to flow through our consciousness. And some musicians might never reach that point, which to me is more valuable than trappings of the ego.

As far as music fans go, they too have a choice of where to place their conscious focus. Will they allow darker emotions and provocative words to shape their realities or will they awaken and not care if it's hip or not to listen to "new age" music or even classical music? And I'm not saying that all rock or pop songs are the equivalent of junk food, since many pop and rock songs have proven through the test of time to contain messages that save lives and awaken consciousness. I'm thinking of John Lennon's "Imagine" for instance--one of the most powerful rock songs of all time in my opinion.

Songs that help us visualize a more peaceful world can only bring us healing and understanding. Even rock and pop musicians experience spiritual epiphanies but given the nature of their fan base, record company reps, and producers (music industry in general), the messages have a harder time coming across. The music industry exists not to awaken humanity but to reel in a profit like fisherman standing on the side of a river. It's not about raising frequencies, but tuned to the bottom line profit and hopefully, this changes soon.

And like any human, musicians battle with egos. I know I did. I grappled with sound men, fumed at the way other musicians produced my demos, and felt envy for the musicians who "made it" in the business while I toiled away doing virtually everything myself from booking my shows, to hauling my equipment to playing solo since it was impossible at that time to find musicians dedicated to my music. How's that for ego? And in my mid-30s when I left the music business with the exception of writing the occasional music review for a publication, I felt bitter and resentful which took decades to reach a point of forgiveness.

And yet, I wouldn't have it any other way. With Neptune in Scorpio landing on the midheaven of my astrology chart, I was well equipped to handle my darker emotions and I relished the darker emotions of others--that is until I got so sick from all the negative vibrations that surrounded and emanated from me. And now, I'm more happy around tuning forks and singing bowls as well as, becoming a word-watcher. By that I have watched how my words and the messages of others have shaped my reality either to my liking or my detriment. I reclaim my power by wielding words wisely now. You get what you say and you get what you play. It might not return immediately, but eventually when you need your good luck the most, it fails you. It was never about luck, and about the words we use and how we use them.

This is the best I can articulate my journey from getting an on-stage buzz singing my do-it-yourself songs in my 20s and 30s to writing a book that promises to wake up some people's music awareness, Whole Music. And if you have had a similar journey, come and join me on this blog. Follow this blog and let's create a community that takes music into the next frontier. Thank you.

Also see

Vibration in Words and Music

Quantum Music

Talking about Timbre